Toilet Training Your Toddler IS EASY… or NOT!

I’ve been to hell and back toilet training my toddler and nothing happened the way the experts tell you. I eventually celebrated after 10 long months! I’ve tried everything I could think of. Below are a few toilet training methods I’ve tried and hopefully some common sense advice before you decide to tear your hair out.

This is my personal account and is not intended to be the make or break of all potty/toilet training methods. It’s intended to give you some ideas or suggestions. One size does not fit all; cherish your experience it’s unique. Are you ready??

 

Here Goes:

Don’t limit yourself to one strategy use a combination that complements each other. Always make sure your toddler feels safe and comfortable and always Praise and Reward.

1. Be Consistent

This is the most important rule. No matter which method you choose. Your toddler will get confused if you expect him or her to use the potty or toilet one day and not the next. Be committed and consistent. Make it part of your routine. Even if you don’t think you have a routine you actually do. If you eat 3 times a day and go to bed you have a routine just build on that. I did!

If you have a younger child it might be an idea to start with the potty.

If your child is a bit older try the toilet.

Method A is based on psychology and encouragement and is very effective especially if your toddler has a favourite toy. If you spend time talking with your little one reasoning works wonders because they teach and make the decisions themselves.

 

A. Teach your toddler about potty or toilet with their favourite stuffed toy. This will prepare them and alleviate fear and anxiety. “If little Miss Dolly can potty so can I!”

 

Method B is Watch and Learn. It can be intimidating for you and whoever else decides to participate. Going to the toilet can now be an adventure with lots of fun!

B. Leave the door open when you go to the toilet so your toddler learns how to go to the toilet and realises that we all go. Flushing the toilet and listening to all the different sounds is interesting and fun! Unrolling the toilet roll also provides oodles of fun!

Before long your toddler will be telling you how to toilet. They have watched you enough times so they know the routine. You remove your underwear, sit, listen for the sounds, wipe with toilet paper, get dressed, flush the toilet and wash hands.

You’ve showed them a routine and they must be quite comfortable if they talk about it. Most toddlers like to show off how well they have mastered a new skill and will be happy to show you what they have learnt. They might even want to show their favourite stuffed toy, friends or siblings. Use this to your advantage.

 

Here are a few more routine ideas:

C. When your toddler wakes up in the morning sit them on the potty or toilet and let them get used to it. Make sure they feel safe and comfortable and explain what’s going on in a fun way. Don’t worry if nothing happens the first few times. It will eventually. Before meals and after meals are other opportune times to try. Remember always be encouraging don’t push. Potty training can also be incorporated as part of their bedtime routine. Some Experts say to try every hour or so. I’m not very good at looking at the time so I always sat my toddler on the toilet or potty with every nappy change.

 

The Elimination method is one I couldn’t get a handle of. Some people rave about. If it works for you I applaud you.

D. The Elimination method is used in many underdeveloped countries where the parents learn when baby is about to go and baby learns to give signs. Our busy lifestyle would make this method difficult but if you have the time, discipline and disposal arrangement than it’s worth a try.

 

After trying everything that I have listed above with only a small amount of success; I took what I saw to be the hardline approach. The toilet training thus far seemed to go 2 steps forward and than 2 steps back. My daughter’s stubbornness and defiance had a regressive effect! What was I doing wrong?

Nothing!!

This behaviour is termed nappy dependence and can cause medical problems. I took the nappy off and replaced it with underwear! Whenever my daughter needed to go she would ask for a nappy! I didn’t oblige and sat her on the toilet instead but she wouldn’t go on the toilet. I than gave her a nappy so she would go avoiding serious constipation problems. I would than take the nappy off. Every time she needed to go she would tell me what for. As a result she learnt bladder and bowel control and the difference between the 2. Wow! This went on for a little while but I didn’t give in. I finally found a weakness! She was embarrassed to show her peers that she was wearing nappies! We went out a lot with plenty of spare undies and clothes and she only managed to have an accident occasionally. She used the toilet only when we went out!?

I than had play dates at our house and she was happily going to the toilet to show her friends!! Simultaneously her dislike for feeling wet increased very quickly and she just decided to go to the toilet by herself.

E. Nappies are made ‘to keep baby dry’ so well that some toddlers get used to wet and soiled nappies. They don’t have the opportunity to associate the feeling of stickiness or wetness with bowel or bladder control. In this event you might like to try putting your toddler in underwear or leaving them completely bottom naked whilst always having the potty or toilet available.

WARNING: Can be Messy

P.S. We got there… :-)

 

2. Praise and Reward

Your toddler will not want to do something new and scary without praise and encouragement. Using the toilet or potty is an anxious and frightening experience for most toddlers and they need to feel safe and comfortable. Sing a favourite song or read a story. There are many potty books available if you get stuck for ideas. Teddy might need to go too. Translation: Your toddler needs to go. They might even want to show off in front of their friends.

It’s very positive to just praise and encourage your toddler for trying or remembering to go even if nothing happens. Try telling some potty stories. I used potty training books as a bedtime story. Some toddlers make up their own potty stories following a consistent potty routine. This is great because “Mr Elephant” knows exactly what to do.

This brings us to reward. Establishing a reward system is a great motivator. A popular reward system is a reward and progress chart. Reward stamps or stickers work great. A special outing is also a wonderful motivator and bonding opportunity. I avoid lollies, cake etc…

 

3. Communicate

Communication is you and your toddler’s key to success. Communicate and negotiate your toddler’s reward. Your Child is smarter than you think.

 

4. Accidents Happen

Exactly! Accidents DO happen. Don’t make a big deal of it. Your child is probably more disappointed in themselves than you are. Be supportive instead. Accidents will happen less and less often.

 

5. Make it Fun

Have some fun! Laugh it off! So what if your toddler was running for the potty but couldn’t unbuckle his or her pants in time. At least they tried…

Always praise and encourage!!

If you’re going through a particularly challenging time laughing helps. I laughed and cried at the same time. I focused on the seeing the brighter side and having a good laugh instead.

 

GETTING HELP!!

There are a lot of health services at your disposal. Don’t be afraid to use them. Talk to other parents they may have other ideas that have worked for them.

Most importantly there are services to help you as a parent.

Stay positive! You need praise and encouragement too.

I have included a link to a product I was about to purchase just before I realised success. I was desperate by 10 months of training!

Good Luck! You're not in control here!